The Saddest Little Birthday Girl

I’ve been working a lot of overtime again, so my life is back to the computer. I’m feeling the need to update, though, so here’s a little gem I uncovered a few days ago. I wrote it last year in response to an email from a friend who invited me (and others) over for some chocolate cake. But, not just any chocolate cake. She is *famous* for this chocolate cake. And because I was going to Kansas City for a conference, I couldn’t go and partake of her famous deliciousness.

Dearest [friend],

This was a truly sad email to read for I am a long-time lover of Chocolate Cake. On my 5th birthday, I ate my cake straight out the oven–no frosting, not even any sprinkles. Just pure, delicious chocolate cake.

I didn’t get half-way through before my mother, who had so lovingly baked this cake and left it on the counter to cool, so sharply scolded me for doing so and promptly booted me out the door. I found this to be most offensive as I had admitted No Such Thing. She knew, though. “A mother always knows,” were, I believe, her exact words before locking the door behind me. And so, there I was, newly 5 and left–forced out!–to fend for myself on a New Jersey cul-de-sac. What was I to do but wander to the neighbors’ homes soliciting for more of that warm, savory deliciousness that had been so unkindly taken from me? And, as Halina and Jen well know, I’ve been doing it ever since.

I am deeply saddened that I won’t be partaking of your famous chocolate deliciousness. I rather enjoy chocolate cakes–at least, I think I do.

Actually I haven’t had one since that fateful birthday. (It was my punishment, you see. It would have been cruel, but shortly thereafter I discovered Baskin Robbins’ Peanut Butter ‘n’ Chocolate Ice Cream cakes. Last year was the first birthday in AGES that I didn’t get one of them on my birthday.). To actually be *invited* to eat one? Wow. 5 year old Anna is speechless with delight. So is nearly-23 year old Anna (almost).

You may remind my mother of this incident should you feel so inclined. I think the bitterness of it will complement nicely the divine sweetness of your chocolate cake. And, since I can’t be there in person, I would very much like for my sneaky five year old self to enjoy it for me. (Please, be sure to put extra frosting on her slice.)

I’m leaving Friday night. I hope to throw myself a birthday bash while I’m in Utah. (Utah is my native land, you know.) Perhaps someone there will offer to honour my 23 years with a decadent chocolate cake of their own? I can only hope (before begging, pleading and otherwise manipulating it out of someone).

Happy caking,


This year, I will once again forgo a cake (I never did succeed in persuading one of my beloved Utahns to feed me cake) because I’ll be in NEW YORK CITYYYYYYY.

I’m leaving for Canada Thursday. I haven’t traveled since January.

I’m so excited.

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