Pretty Soon I’m Going To Start Asking for Money

Yes, Sister, I am looking at you and your insomnia.

Today she told me that I had to update again QUICK because she read my blog immediately instead of during the insomnia as we negotiated. So I said, with the help of my keyboard, HEY. My updates are not like my amazingly delicious chocolate chip cookies–I can’t just whip them up and have them be great. I mean, for starters, I need something to talk about.

And then I realized, When have I ever needed something to talk about? Anyone who’s ever gotten an email from me knows This Girl is a master at talking about nothing. Isn’t that how I passed college? Yes. Yes it is.

So, for your insomniatic pleasure, I present to you: This Post.

Today I went to the clinic. I waited in the waiting room for an hour, just sitting there, staring. I didn’t have a book with me because I usually only have a to wait a few minutes. (“Usually” meaning “the one other time I visited the clinic”.) I couldn’t listen to my iPod because I had a headache and all I could think about was my throbbing
forehead, and the pressure all along my cheekbones. Music would have been painful. So, I sat there, mouth slightly open, temples throbbing, and made my own music. It went something like this:
*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

*throb* Ow.

The bright fluorescent lights in the white-walled, white-floored room enhanced the experience. Unfortunately, it was one experience that would have been better without enhancement.

I have never had a sinus infection before, and can’t say for sure whether I do now. It seems I do, but the drug-happy doctors here don’t need things like a “diagnosis” to prescribe antibiotics. Nope. She just jabbed at my cheeks and forehead and asked if it hurt (YES) and then sent me away with a prescription for three different medications, as well as a referral to some hospital in Sharjah for a face x-ray. Would you believe that some people actually want a reason for starting a course of pills called “anti-life”?

I came home and swallowed some Advil Cold & Sinus and slept curled up at the end of my parents’ bed. I can’t explain why I did this; it was rather canine of me. But two hours later, I felt good enough to be productive, so I guess those animals are on to something.

*******************

Ah, look what I found. Photographic evidence of my Life.

That’s my mom in her Halloween costume. She went as a souq. Dad insisted that didn’t count as a costume, that it was more of a routine–a shtick, if you will–and she needed to find something more orthodox.
Of course she didn’t, and obviously it was a hit.

My least favorite part of Halloween is the dressing up, so I didn’t.

This is me at the Halloween party, jumping off an armchair:

Lest you find me completely unfestive, I did don a wig for part of the evening:

I look like a lioness, but actually I’m a She-wolf. Like Shakira.

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This is a clothing store at Wafi mall:

I am not kidding.

******************

Last night, my mom left the country for a conference in Denver. She’ll be gone for a week.
Today, I met Dad for lunch. He was having a hard day because Mom is gone and so he didn’t sleep well. It’s only 12:30? He said to me. It feels like 5:00 will never get here.

When he did come home, he asked what we should have for dinner. This was sort of a trick question because all we have in our fridge is salad, pickles, and a thawing turkey. We thought about making pasta, but were too lazy to make a flour-run.

Well, we could have salad. Of course, then we would have to make the dressing

We thought for a minute, then he said,

How about popcorn?

So we ate a bowl of popcorn in front of the television, and then spent the next two hours staring at our laptops and occasionally flipping channels on the TV we weren’t watching.

*************

I’ve been switching between MTV and VH1 for the last 3 hours. I love MTV. I’m sorry, that wasn’t quite right. I *LOVE* MTV. I love Made and My Super-sweet 16 and True Life and Pimp My Ride and Punk’d and music videos. Most of all, I love getting caught up on pop culture. I get so isolated out here and watching MTV makes me feel like a part of something. Is that sad? A little, right? Well, anyway. I love it. *LOVE* it. Music videos are cool, too. Especially since much of my self-worth is dependent on my ability to identify the song title and band name of any song on the radio. Lately, my self-worth has been increasing.

But tonight, just in the last few hours, they played She Wolf (Shakira) four times. Four times! And I’ve heard 21 Guns (Greenday) twice. And both VH1 and MTV played Madonna’s new song. I watched the Lady Gaga video (Paparazzi) once and it was…strange. And cool. Coolly strange. I love Katy Perry’s Waking Up In Vegas, but am not crazy about Rihanna’s Run This Town. I was not impressed with Kid Rock’s All Summer Long video. But, it is Kid Rock and when have I ever been impressed by one of his videos? Zactly. Oh look, they’re playing Circus again. Which is okay with me, because I like this video and song. But you know what? Womanizer is a dumb video. And, like, I’m a fan of Britney and all, but what the heck is up with that video? Brit, I expect more of you.

Tonight, VH1 wins. Because they played a Michael Jackson video AND they didn’t repeat one video four times. (Yeesh.) Michael Jackson is The King. Have you seen This Is It? I have. Twice. And MTV, you really need to follow VH1’s lead on this and play more of his music. His dancing is good and his videos don’t rely on the pornification of women to be entertaining.
(Halo. VH1, this is the second time tonight. What up?)
(Run This Town. Third time. I think it’s time for bed.)

*****************

So, now it’s time for bed. And it’s evening over there in the Western hemisphere. I am setting this to post at 9 PM. See what I do for you, Insomniacs? Forget travelogue. This is like, … shoot. I can’t think of anything clever right now but someday I will come up with something and it will be funny and it will have to do with insomnia and this blog.
Yeah, I’m spent.

Good night, you crazy insomniacs!

[Edit: I lied. I’m making it 10 PM. I think. I hear you guys just when on daylight savings time, so I’m not so up on time differences anymore. 12 hours to California? Hm. I think so.]

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1 comment

  1. How is it that I did not witness you jumping off the armchair?? And I don't get it: You like dressing up (we were supposed to have a dress-up date eons ago, remember? And now I'm getting rid of most of my costumes) but you don't like dressing up for HALLOWEEN, when dressing up is not only acceptable, but downright SACROSANCT?? (*come on, give me some points for that one! Even *I'M* impressed!)
    And can I just say how thrilled -nay, HONORED I am to read this blog and see that my life has become fabulously intertwined with yours?